Contentment

Contentment is defined as freedom from worry or restlessness, or peaceful satisfaction. The Lord’s prayer begins with “The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want.” The Yiddish word for contentment is “samayach” from the Hebrew root meaning happiness. Buddha said that contentment, “Santosha” is the highest wealth. It is accepting things as they are, and that is enough. In Islam, it is practice to thank Allah in everything including waking up, getting dressed, eating, even successfully using the bathroom! Ganesha is the remover of obstacles in Hinduism. The obstacle to our happiness is our discontent.

Contentment has been a word that I have camped on over the last few years. I have not felt extremely content during this chapter of my life, but I have tried to accept what is without driving myself crazy. Sometimes I was successful. Sometimes my want for something different is heavy on my soul. In 2016, I moved to Indiana from Minnesota to be with my mom after my dad passed away. She passed away a couple of years ago after about a year on hospice. During this time, I was separated from the community I thrived in most and the people that most loved me. I will be able to move back if I sell the house I inherited and fixed up. If I don’t sell it, could I still be content?

In April, after months of symptoms, it was discovered that I had a large mass in my abdomen. Tumor marker tests were taken and I was told it was likely cancer. In May, I had surgery not knowing if it was cancer or not. The tumor as 5 pounds. It was 7.5 inches across, 6 inches up and down, and 6 inches from my back to my belly button. It was in an ovary and had begun twisting around inside of me. I was not content to leave it in there, and thankfully, it could be removed. Even better, there was no cancer found. What a tremendous blessing! Not everyone gets good news like I did. Not everyone gets to be on the road to a healthier life. I am lucky. I choose to be content. I choose to remember my home is my body, mind, and soul. It is within this body, that I have “enough”. I am here and that is enough.

We all have times of discontentment, but according all world religions, we should choose to be be content. The reason is not to shame us for wanting better things but for allowing ourselves to feel as well as we can in our present moment. To be alive in our moments and be grateful as we go along is the goal. If the only thing that is going right is breathing in and out, and you can be content, you win.