Here is a post that I never got around to publishing when I was taking care of my mom during her last months. I was so exhausted at that time I could hardly see straight. As I start my coaching business, which usually begins with a caregiver of an adult child reaching out for help, this seems timely to share. I have been a caregiver. I have always had a team. I am a teacher, a coach, and can speak with some expertise on many topics, but it has been my connections to the other important humans in my life that have held me together in my most challenging times. For this post, I will share my thoughts from about three years ago when I was teaching full-time and being a caregiver for my mom in hospice. Then I will follow up with how Promising Connections is launching in Vallejo, California for the next chapter to empower people to do the hard things, with a team.
I am writing tonight with a grateful heart. My mom has been having many health issues. This has sent me into caregiver overdrive. Yet, a number of good friends and family have assisted me in so many ways this week, and I feel ready to face another week.
As a child of a parent who needs some care, it feels like I am sometimes being a mom again. Fortunately, I loved being a mom. This week, as we headed for the emergency room again, I was sad that mom’s favorite blanket was in the wash. When she had a bad night the first night at the hospital right after Christmas, I brought her a fluffy blanket. It helped her get through the second night better. It is with her all of the time now. Just like I never left home with my daughter without her “star blanket,” mom has a blanket, too, that serves the same purpose and has become extremely important. So, I had to take mom to the emergency room and just hope that she was not admitted because she needed that blanket. Thankfully, she was not admitted this time. She was back home in her chair under her fluffy blanket in no time.
This week, I had a friend go check on mom when she called me at school confused, and another friend drove her to an appointment while I worked. A cousin brought flowers and meals and visited with her. Two friends spent quality time with me. All of these little gestures of care refilled my energy gas tank. The one thing I keep struggling to make time for is art and creativity. I made myself at least pause and write a little something tonight.
It is my pleasure to warm the applesauce, make the tea, give the medications, coordinate the appointments, plan the meals, and wash the fluffy blanket. I want to make mom’s life as happy and comfortable as I tried to do once when my daughter was small. It was done with love when my mom took care of me as a child. I know many of my friends and family are in a similar place. Caregiving is not always easy, but I feel truly grateful for this time in my life. With the help of some great people to lean on a bit, I think I will make it.
Mom passed in the summer of 2022. A year later, I had a massive tumor removed from my abdomen. Initially, doctors thought I had cancer, but it was not cancer. With the help of my team of humans, I got through that chapter as well. I was recruited to teach in Vallejo, California, last January, and it’s been quite a big change. I was found on LinkedIn by a family looking for help, and as a result, my coaching business has started up here. It’s not weakness to need others on your team. It is strategic. Do you need someone to partner with you in creating the life you have imagined? Text me at 651-331-1421 to check on my availability. I am passionate about this work and look forward to meeting you.
Promising Connections 